Choosing a sex therapist is a deeply personal decision. It involves trusting someone with some of your most vulnerable thoughts, feelings, and experiences. Keep these factors in mind during your search:
Qualifications and credentials are important. Look for therapists who are licensed and certified to be a counselor or psychotherapist in your state. Experience in or additional training in sex therapy or intimacy issues is highly preferred. This ensures that they have the necessary knowledge and skills to address your concerns effectively, and that’s a very important place to start. It also suggests they may be more comfortable with what you want to talk about, and therefore, be better equipped to help you to be more comfortable talking about an area that our society does not openly and directly speak about.
Learn about the therapist's experience and expertise. Are you comfortable with a newer therapist that specializes in a certain area? Do you feel more comfortable with someone who has many years of experience working with sex and intimacy issues? Don’t be shy when it comes to your mental health. Ask the therapist about their experience and any specialized training they have in this area.
The therapist’s approach is important, as well. Different therapists use different techniques and theoretical frameworks in their practice. Examples of these include cognitive-behavioral therapy, psychodynamic therapy, or mindfulness. Find a therapist with an approach that lines up with your personal preferences and goals. Share with them in an introductory call or session what you’re hoping to get out of therapy, and ask how their experience can help you to get there.
Take into consideration the therapist's communication style and personality. An effective therapist should be empathetic and non-judgmental. They should be able to provide a safe and supportive environment in which you can comfortably explore any topic, regardless of how sensitive. And always trust your instincts. Select a therapist that you believe will deliver genuineness and support.
Of course, practical considerations are important as well. Location, availability, and cost top the list. Choose a therapist with a convenient location – online if you prefer – and whose fees are within your budget or covered by your insurance plan if these occur with someone who you feel you can connect.
Lastly, if you don’t feel that the therapist is a perfect fit, ask them for referrals. Therapists have your best interest at heart and will eagerly provide information to help you find the assistance that you seek. Goodness of fit is a great indicator of a worthwhile and meaningful therapy experience, and therapists want to help you find that.
I wish you the very best in your selection process. By taking the time to find the right therapist, you can begin a therapeutic journey that supports your emotional well-being and relationship growth.
Dr. Wayne Bullock is a compassionate experienced counselor in Washington D.C. focused on the needs of gay men and the LGBTQ community. Specialties include the treatment of trauma, depression, anxiety, and sex therapy.
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