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Writer's pictureDr Wayne Bullock

When is the right time to begin sex therapy?

Updated: Nov 17

Starting sex therapy can be a pivotal step towards improving your sexual health and overall well-being. Sexual issues are very common. And they can affect anyone. It doesn’t matter what your age is, gender, or even relationship status. But when is the correct time to see professional help?


Prolonged sexual dysfunctions are a clear indicator that it might be the right time to start sex therapy. What are sexual dysfunctions? They include erectile dysfunction (ED), premature ejaculation, delayed ejaculation, a general lack of sexual desire, or shame or guilt when thinking about or engaging in sex. Consulting your primary care physician is always a good idea for the physical symptoms to rule out any underlying medical concerns. Sometimes, however, the source of such issues is psychological … and not physiological. Working with a trained mental health professional can provide specialized guidance to help alleviate these challenges.


If your relationship is suffering due to sex-related matters, then sex therapy might be beneficial. Sexual issues often create or accentuate tensions between partners. This can increase misunderstandings and emotional distance. If discussions about sex tend to lead to arguments - or if you’ve noticed a reduction in intimacy – then working with a sex therapist is worth exploring.


Our overall mental health can play a significant role in sexual health. Having to deal with anxiety, depression, trauma, or grief can significantly affect sexual function and satisfaction. Sex therapy can provide a “safe space” to explore and work through these overarching issues alongside sex-related matters.


Life is a series of changes. Major life events such as pregnancy, having children, menopause, illness, or other transitions can all lead to shifts in our levels of sexual desire and function. Changes in our relationships – breaking up, being alone, starting a new relationship – can easily bring about sexual challenges. Adapting to these changes is not always easy. A sex therapist can offer support and aid you in developing insights to maintain a fulfilling sexual relationship.


A general dissatisfaction or lack of fulfillment in one’s sexual life, even if no one specific dysfunction is noticed, are also valid reasons to seek sex therapy.


In the end, knowing when to start sex therapy involves paying attention to yourself. Stay in tune with your sexual issues, relationships, emotional state, and overall sexual satisfaction. And seek professional help when you need someone to support you and help you get back on a good, sexually fulfilling track.


Dr. Wayne Bullock is a compassionate experienced counselor in Washington D.C. focused on the needs of gay men and the LGBTQ community. Specialties include the treatment of trauma, depression, anxiety, and sex therapy.

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